Jango
An Announcement from atlaskes
**New Discoveries from Ancient Civilisation**
*by Atlas*
It is widely known among Arcadians that Mesopotato was the cradle of civilisation. But how much do we actually know about the culture of these early settlers? Athos News takes a look at history through the emerging evidence from archaeological expeditions to the far South East.
There are many clues that points to the first settlers being led by a potato fanatic. In fact, the name Mesopotato is derived from an ancient word meaning “between potatoes” owing to the fondness of the people for this starchy root vegetable. The honourable title of Head Potato was given to the first potato farmer who managed to grow this holy crop and thereby establish the foundation of a new settlement. His status was almost certainly elevated to godly, and soon temples emerged as centres of worship of the Potato Head.
As the flourishing city of Babble-On grew, a need for organisation and laws also emerged. Carved potatoes were used to apply potaiform script to clay tablets, and we can glean some insight into Spud Laws and Tater Administration from preserved tablets. Legal theory was sophisticated early on.
In addition to writing, the achievements of the growing ancient civilisation are many, including moral, aesthetic, scientific, and literary advances. With the invention of the wheel, (which was at first used for making pottery to store potatoes in, and later to make carts for transport of goods), trade routes with outside cultures began to establish. Recent archaeological findings speak of a tradesman by the name of Ea-Nasir, who would travel far to sell his fine copper wares. The ongoing excavation and restoration of his shop will almost certainly give us valuable insight into the everyday life of a highly regarded tradesman from the ancient Spud culture.
An Announcement from atlaskes
**The Most Important Tomato**
*by Mids*
Arcadians have been advised to look out for wandering Green Grocers, sickly green living dead greengrocers intent on putridly pushing their produce with an unrelenting hard-sell.
One of these vegetable vending vagabonds recently paid a visit to the Japan-themed residence of CalicoJacque, Tellis, and Mids.
The tomato delivery would wait for no man or beast; he had a tomato, Mids did not have a tomato. His objective was clear, Mids had to have a tomato!
Having arrived in solid gold armour, tomato grasped in his decaying digits, the pushy produce purveyor pounded at the front door until it was smashed to splinters. Undeterred by an empty lounge, he searched the house until he located Mids’ bedroom. With the force of fruit & veg, he kicked in the door, searching for the recipient of his prize tomato. Several hours later, upon returning home from a fishing trip, Mids found the rotting retailer raging behind a one-way door, frantically beating it down to continue on his tomato delivery mission.
Not wanting further hassle, Mids accepted the tomato that was the source of the mischief, and once the gold girded git had gone, he set about the place with a hammer and planks to remedy the damage.
An Announcement from atlaskes
**The Most Important Tomato**
*by Mids*
Arcadians have been advised to look out for wandering Green Grocers, sickly green living dead greengrocers intent on putridly pushing their produce with an unrelenting hard-sell.
One of these vegetable vending vagabonds recently paid a visit to the Japan-themed residence of CalicoJacque, Tellis, and Mids.
The tomato delivery would wait for no man or beast; he had a tomato, Mids did not have a tomato. His objective was clear, Mids had to have a tomato!
Having arrived in solid gold armour, tomato grasped in his decaying digits, the pushy produce purveyor pounded at the front door until it was smashed to splinters. Undeterred by an empty lounge, he searched the house until he located Mids’ bedroom. With the force of fruit & veg, he kicked in the door, searching for the recipient of his prize tomato. Several hours later, upon returning home from a fishing trip, Mids found the rotting retailer raging behind a one-way door, frantically beating it down to continue on his tomato delivery mission.
Not wanting further hassle, Mids accepted the tomato that was the source of the mischief, and once the gold girded git had gone, he set about the place with a hammer and planks to remedy the damage.
Newest Citizen Shell Shocked with Oldest Athos Inhabitant
*by Qwikstreet*
The newest adventurer has just settled down hoping for some peace and quiet in Athos. Slowly did he realize that he was turtley wrong. Qwikstreet just moved in and found himself a small chunk of land to build his life. He followed the rainbow and just past the hot air balloon. “It was a perfect little spot along the water and not too secluded, or so I thought. I figured this was perfect with the rainbow and the hot air balloon. It made me think of The Wizard of Oz and how I starred in our school play of the classic,” Qwikstreet added during a recent interview.
Other than the L. Frank Baum vibe, he was also mesmerized by a large rock formation jutting off of the mountain range across the lake. Qwik built a home and positioned his view to fully take in the peculiar rock structure. Everything was quiet for weeks. One morning as he was waking from his bed, he was sturtled by a very large voyeur staring directly into his windows. Chaurli is the largest and oldest amphibian in Athos. He is actually the oldest living thing period.
“I went over and spoke briefly with the tortoise and tried to be friendly but he just snapped at me. He gradually went on and on about how the land I was on was spe-shell and has been untouched for generations and wanted to know who I thought I was for moving in. He somehow thought I was the first person to come to Athos. Look around, I clearly am not.”
Qwikstreet soon realized that turtles can’t see far on land and he just happened to be within his optical range. As the days passed, the stares and the look of disapproval grew. Every tree he chopped down, every block of soil excavated meant that an unsatisfied grunt bellowed out across the lake.
“I tried to let it not phase me and let it roll of my back but its hard with those mesmerizing eyes piercing your soul. I still get sucked into his gaze if I look back. Some mornings I can’t get out of bed because he is right there and we lock eyes.” Qwikstreet was forced to move some operations underground so he could get some work complete. “It’s very overbearing to have a turtle watch over you like a hawk.”
Athos News reached out to Chaurli. Other than terraforming land, he was not thrilled with the constant busyness from his neighbor. “Qwikstreet, I already don’t like that name. Its too fast for my speed. All he does is start some shamble of a project and moves on to something random. I mean, look at that house, the roof still isn’t complete. Or even worse, he just stands there staring at me. Its very eerie.” When asked if he would move, he huffed and said he was here legally plus it would take him another decade just to reach the shores of the lake. As our conversation with Chaurli steadily came to an end (or end of the day), he advised us he would send in any further comments via a formal letter through the snail mail express.
Qwikstreet also does not appear to be interested in moving. Not only is he planning on expanding his home, he and other fellow residents just broke ground on a new train station that will connect to the rest of our readers.
THE TALE OF COSTCO
*by Titan*
In the vast expanse of fields, where the winds whisper ancient tales,
Stood a lone Yellow Sheep, forsaken, amidst blocky plains, it wails.
Titan, with her curious eyes, stumbled upon this forsaken soul,
And with gentle hands, she lifted it from its desolate hole.
Through valleys and hills, she carried it to the bustling town,
Where dreams and destinies interweave, with a symphony profound.
Placed within the shopping district, amidst the crowd’s ceaseless flow,
The Yellow Sheep found solace, a new purpose to bestow.
Costco, they called him, bestowed by Rezpint’s decree,
Guardian of fish, in a realm where all may see.
His fleece bright as the sun, his gaze steady, never to bore.
In the echo of commerce, he found his true calling’s song,
Guiding shoals of coins, where once he felt so wronged.
With each sale, a triumph, a testament to his newfound worth,
A beacon of hope in a world that oftentimes felt dearth.
In the annals of time, his tale would echo and resound,
A Yellow Sheep named Costco, in wonder he was found.
EXTRA! EXTRA! New Epidemic Sweeping Across Athos!
*by Atlaskes*
Health officials are racing to identify the cause of rise in Eggomania, a serious disorder that causes affected Arcadians to abandon their normal day-to-day routines and rush to the shopping district in search of Easter eggs. Several cases of Eggomania have been confirmed, and scientists are warning to stay clear of any suspicious looking eggs until properly trained epidemiologists have cleared them of traces of the very contagious disease. Several eggs have already been contained and are safely stored for further research.
Witnesses describe seeing affected individuals behaving in unsafe manners to get as many as possible of the enticing eggs that mysteriously appear in the Shopping District. Some throw all caution to the wind and climb high or dive deep in the hope of spotting an egg that has been overlooked. Affected Arcadians have even been seen sabotaging others in their frantic obsession with possessing numerous samples of each colour.
“At first we identified 6 different strains of these eggs, that differ to normal chicken eggs in size and colour. But only this morning it came to light that a 7th strain has now evolved.” Dr Molly Atlamanjhi explains.
“Please do not expose yourself to any risk. It is best to completely avoid this area *[Ed: the Shopping District]* while the eggs are still appearing. Leave the clearing of the contamination site to trained professionals.” she adds with obvious concern in her voice for the wellbeing of her fellow Arcadians.
Eggomania is a very serious and long-lasting infection that can be fatal. It can lead to hurting neck from looking up and down, and in many cases hallucinations. Healthcare workers report of many patients who claim to have seen the Easter Bunny with their own eyes. One traumatised witness reports seeing a victim hurtling themselves into the side of a building whilst screaming “The Easter Bunny is real, I tell you!”
The Purple Line
*by Ngarvi Longbeard*
It is not faster. It is not safer. And it is certainly not easy to build. But building and riding rails a long distance through various biomes is a cherished mode of travel. A rail system can provide connectivity and a sense of shared ownership of our beloved world. Rail riding slows us down, allows us to see the world, and in some cases gives our hands a break to grab a drink, have a snack, or pick our noses all while travelling smoothly to our destination!
With a massive start by Tonystar73 and Tellis in the Shopping District, Ngarvi took much inspiration and began to work on a rail from the Acropolis (Ngarvi’s base) toward the SD. To better understand the magnitude of this project, the Acropolis is 3000 blocks west and 1000 blocks south of Spawn. With over 4000 blocks of double rail to lay down, over 125 stacks of rail and powered rail were crafted, over 6 stacks of levers, and over 185 stacks of Tuff Block were placed.
With a bunch of help from Tonystar73 and Hillmanunited, the Tuff path was completed and the route was confirmed for ***the Purple Line***, a rail that heads west from the Shopping District, connecting the Build Competition area, DCstar’s desert base, the Community Hole, Kailio’s base, and continues all the way to the Acropolis where the traveller will enjoy a station identical to the Shopping District station (and a bonus surprise for the keen observer).
While there are stretches of the rail that deserve lights and terraforming for beautification, the rails are connected and powered for eleven minutes of tranquil travelling! With an open invitation from Ngarvi to visit anytime, set aside your burdens and weary building hands and take a ride on ***the Purple Line!***
Stay tuned for an invitation for a group ride to the Acropolis, an event called ***the Purple Line Party!*** Because the only thing better than sitting in a minecart for eleven minutes is riding ***the Purple Line*** with friends!
The Key Spring/Summer Fashion Trend: Digging Big Holes for No Apparent Reason
*by Atlaskes*
This spring’s most talked-about build style amongst the trend-setting Arcadians is not a build at all. Designers are focusing on minimalism: The absence of blocks. What is more intriguing than the possibilities of the empty space? This seems to be the driving question for Athos influencers everywhere. All conspired to make the spring/summer fashion displays feel a little more human. And if you’re rolling your eyes at a publication extolling the merits of achievable build goals, the difference came in the details and magnitude that elevated them from mundane to magazine-worthy: The grand size of the Big Dig from surface to bedrock combined with a perfectly rounded shape.
This surprising development for the season breaks with the tradition of the renowned designers of The Nether Hub, City Hall and The Purple Castle, but is not without roots in history. The art of hole digging goes back as far as Season 1, with mentionable holes being the large space of the Borg Cube of Season 3, and ArseyRC’s base in Season 1.
You now have the opportunity of joining this latest trend of Digging Big Holes for No Apparent Reason at the Big Dig event by the End Portal.
The Enigmatic Enigma: Exploring The Maze, A Challenge of Mind and Endurance
*by Damo*
In the heart of the Mud Brick Nether Tunnel, nestled almost as far as the Christmas Area, lies an enigmatic labyrinth known simply as “The Maze.” Its origins shrouded in mystery, some speculate it to be a relic of an ancient civilisation with futuristic prowess.
Despite standing open for a considerable duration, only a handful of intrepid souls have dared to venture into its intricate passages. The premise is simple yet daunting: find the exit and collect “Gem’s” before succumbing to madness or starvation.
Among those who have dared to challenge The Maze, Garth boasts the fastest escape time so far, showcasing remarkable skill and tenacity. However, Firststorm’s feat of accumulating the highest Gem count within The Maze is marred by the toll it took on their sanity, having endured the labyrinth confines for over an hour and a half.
The allure of The Maze lies not only in its physical endurance but also in the psychological toll it exacts on those who dare to navigate its corridors. It beckons adventurers with promises of glory, but many have fallen among The Mazes endless winding corridors.
As whispers of The Maze spread, the question looms: do you possess the patience and fortitude to brave its depths? Whether driven by curiosity or the thirst for adventure, those who enter The Maze embark on a journey where every step is fraught with uncertainty. Will you heed the call and test your mettle against The Maze’s formidable challenge?
Vandalism Escalates to Serious Crime: Pun Jar Funds Stolen!
*by Atlaskes*
In the early hours of yet another beautiful day on AthosCraft, citizens noticed that contents of the Pun Jar were missing. Shortly after arrival, Binky, (the Sheriff’s trusted donkey) discovered a newly dug tunnel, and found the remains of the machinery used to secretly gain access to the Jar.
“It was a complex operation involving a tunnel bore and a suction device hooked up to a large storage container” Binky’s translator told us. “This is undoubtedly the work of several perpetrators, who we expect have spent a long time planning and preparing for this meticulous operation. It is an atrocious act of theft of public funds”.
As one of the fundamental pillars of our society, the Pun Jar is proudly displayed atop a hill overlooking the Shopping District. Since the introduction of the Jar, citizens have been able to rest safely, knowing that the Dad Jokers and Punsters would pay the price for their harassment of peaceful, law-abiding residents. However, these jesting rabble-rousers did not content themselves with merely an endless stream of so-called “funny content”. They also vandalised the Pun Jar itself, and put up protests against the initiative in the otherwise idyllic surroundings of the Pun Jar Hill. It seems to this reporter, that these lawless elements have become hardened hooligans, and have been left unchecked by authorities for too long.
However, the general public is currently more concerned with the rumours of freebees being handed out by a mysterious group calling themselves the Shade Sentries. Whether this group is in any way related to the criminal elements behind the Pun Jar operation is not known at this point, but unconfirmed sources inform us that the riches are coming directly from the Pun Jar loot crate. Personal gain, rather than the attack on the structure of society itself, seems to be of more interest to Arcadians, who celebrate this redistribution of funds.